...must actually be written on my forehead. Now. Over the past year I have detailed several shocking things that have been said to me (outside of the daily crazy that comes out of the mouths of my library patrons.) This is only a year's worth of crazy mind you. Let me refresh your memory:
1) Small Indian Man: You have the face of a celebrity. I've never seen a face that beautiful. You would be perfect if you lost 40 pounds.
2) Drunk Wedding Guest at Four Seasons Bar after talking to me for 3 minutes, and also after saying "That's why I LOVE YOU.": Man! Your boobs are just pounding out of that dress!
3) Drunk Guy at FuckitShop Who Sort of Looked Like a Ken Doll: Can I taste you?
Those are definitely the top 3.
And today, here's a new one for you:
So, I'm driving home from work minding my own business in Deronte the Civic of Swiftly Declining Style, and I am stopped at a light. The man in the car next to me makes the rolly window down motion so I roll down my window on the passenger side (and I literally mean roll it down, because I don't have automatic windows. Seriously, what if I drove off a bridge and landed in the water and the power in my car died?! HOW WOULD I GET OUT WITHOUT MANUAL WINDOWS! Anyway...) and say "Can I help you?" thinking that he like, needs directions or whatever. I must tell you that this man was driving a sensible vehicle and looked totally normal. He then says:
Can I take your picture?
I'm like...NOPE. And roll up my window quickly and stare ahead with all the stern concentration of a man trying to move objects with his mind. What in the?! Does this happen to anyone else? DOES IT? I mean...I'm at a loss. SO FREAKING WEIRD. And then, this is why I hate myself, I'm all second guessing myself being like "I shouldn't have been so abrupt! Oh what if it was for like...a piece on fashion in Atlanta and he just really like my fabulous 5 dollar sunglasses...and oh, why didn't I ask why, maybe he wanted to give me free skin cream. I mean he did ASK if he could take my picture." And what's to say he didn't take my picture anyway!?! Like when I was telepathically willing the traffic light to change to green??
So, if you guys see a picture of me (in really cute sunglasses) in Deronte like on the internet somewhere...just give me a heads up.