I'm a little fatigued. I don't know if it's my Bitter Librarian Gene kicking in or what, but I have become increasingly frustrated and exhausted by people not owning up. You know, not being straightforward or sticking to their guns...or principals...or opinions for that matter. I mean why not? Yes. People will judge you. Especially me, and from my perspective on this very high horse things may not be looking so good for you. But who gives a crap?! If you are secure enough in what you are doing/saying/thinking/feeling honest to GOD it should not really matter what me or anyone else has to say about it. So few people are willing to accept the repercussions of the fact that the folks around them MAY NOT agree with them that they live in a vague, non-committal haze. STOP. It freaking pisses me off. TO NO END. I mean it's very liberating to say "This is who I am. This is what I think. You like? Great! We're totally friends! You no like? Then you have two choices: 1) get over it and love me anyway or 2)hit the road." It's not so bad. Really.
I just seem to be encountering this more and more often recently. And jeez, I'm certainly not perfect. There were times when I Lied by Omission to appease the crowd. You know, where you don't necessarily out and out LIE, but you very specifically don't share particular bits? Or when I didn't say how I truly felt to avoid hurting someone. We all do this. But if you're not owning up to your life, how you live, who you are because you are crippled by fear? I'm angered with you. Yes, VIZZINI IS ANGRY! And never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line! (I, myself, am NOT Sicilian. I'm Calabrase. Sicilians are hairy in weird places.)
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA, A HA HA HA....(death).
And just so you guys know? That is the EXACT amount of "HAs" that Vizzini utters before dying. You can check. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, then you clearly need to go home and watch "The Princess Bride" about 4 dozen times in quick succession.
I know. Totally preachy, and not what you're looking for on this blog. But one has so few outlets to express one's frustration...one...which...one...s.
And incidentally? StinkBrarian smells like straight up mildew. As if she is actually growing mold on her skin. VOMMITOUS! OH! And I totally had a dream last night? That I told her how useless she was and she SMACKED ME ACROSS THE FACE. Can you imagine?! And like she was all mumbling angrily to herself and I was all "TELL ME TO MY FACE! TELL ME TO MY FACE!!" It was so awesome. And I was so enraged at her in this dream, that when I saw her this morning it was nearly impossible for me to be courteous. And then I got a good whiff, and felt no need.
Also, I'm heading up to NY tonight to visit my Grandparents. I will be away until Tuesday night, so survive if you can without me! I know. It will be hard. You will cry out in the night with grief. But alas, I will not hear you.
Or WILL I?