So, Pita says this in a NYC Subway, and we both agreed that it is worth sharing:
Realistically? This DOES actually look like a poster of some new Hip Hop band. I mean look how hard core those kids are. I mean, I don't want to fuck with them. So why should Voldemort? So, I'd like to compose their first rap, hit single, which I hope they will use in their Final Rap Battle with Voldey and the Death Eaters.
Hoggy Hoggy Hogwarts (to the tune of Jay-Z's "30 Something")
Harry Potter's the new Skywalker bitch, It's so HOT STILL (Uhh)
Better wands, better flying cars(Uhh)
Bet a yard (Naw) Bet a hundred mil
Then by our spell's end we'll probably have somethin' fancy
We know everything you wanna do
Because we use Legilimency!
By book three, we broke that whompin' tree,
I guess you could say that my legend just begun, I'm
Young enough to know the right car to fly
Yet grown enough not to leg Muggles see it (again.)
I'm workin' Occlumency, so you can't feel me
Runnin' the Great Hall with Ron & Hermione.
I don't got the bright spell, I got the right spell.
I don't buy out the trolley, I bought the Hogwarts Express,
I got the right robes when I dress,
Dumbledore's Army that's defending against the dark arts,
We'll counter-spell you like WHOAH! This is Malfoy abuse!
Call Umbridge, I might just be gettin' braver
You Death Eaters ain't ready for real
Harry Potter's the new Skywalker, I'm so HOT STILL
[Chorus I]
I used to live under the stairs, not givin' a fuck
Well Voldey, now I'm all grown up
I used to screw up in potions, and count on my luck
Well Voldey, now I'm all grown up
I used to play Hogesmeade like dat (like dat)
I used to eat chocolate frogs like dat (like dat)
Now I got an Invisibility Cloak and such
Yeah Voldey, 'cause I'm all grown up
Genius!! Seriously, you just made my day.
Posted by: KitKat | October 10, 2007 at 04:02 PM
You. are. awesome.
Posted by: Bet | October 10, 2007 at 09:41 PM
It's moments like these i remember why you've been in my life this long
Posted by: Bryan | October 10, 2007 at 10:00 PM
Ok, I just played the song in the background...and there is no way you wrote that! That is scary good.. Favorite lines:
"I don't got the bright spell, I got the right spell.
I don't buy out the trolley, I bought the Hogwarts Express,
I got the right robes when I dress,"
Posted by: Hubby | October 10, 2007 at 11:17 PM
Vizzini does not plagerize...librarians don't violate copyright yo. It is a HP Original comin' at you LIVE from ATL!
Posted by: Vizzini | October 10, 2007 at 11:19 PM
holy shit.
this NEEDS to be recorded.
genius.
Posted by: pita | October 11, 2007 at 10:14 AM
jesse you know my taste in music. but i just had to hear it the way you're hubby did. so i spent the 99 cents in itunes to download it. and loved your version. unfortunately, that was probably the last time poor mr. jay-z will be played on my computer. but props to you. ;-)
Posted by: kyliebob | October 11, 2007 at 01:56 PM
I'll totally buy you a tacky magnet at The Dollar Tree to make up for it.
Posted by: Vizzini | October 11, 2007 at 02:27 PM