Now he's singing beautifully and walking all sexily?! I mean he's just put a cherry on tops of Jesse's Sundae of Hotness. More like...6 cherries.
Let me just pop downstairs to the Fantasy Basement and ask Helena about this whole "Sweeney Todd" hotnesss business, and how she managed to nail the job. Well, I guess by nailing Tim Burton...but that's besides the point. She's totally fierce in her own right.
<walks down stairs>
Gary Oldman: Good evening my dahhhhling.
Me: Um...hey. You can switch from Dracula to Sirius whenever you're ready big guy.
Michael Caine: 'EY! 'ow you do in the turkey hut potato bake pie? HAHAHAHA!
Gary Oldman: I don't suppose you have a light? Johnny and I have just finished hand rolling 1,475 cigarettes and he's left with the only lighter.
Me: WAIT. Johnny Depp was HERE?? In MY basement?
Michael Caine: a course! What you be expect you pirate chute broccoli butter 'eh?
Me: OH MY GOD! You're right! I think I can still sense his Aura of Hotness!! <breathes deeply> Anyway, I just wanted to see if Helena Bonham Carter felt like coming outside and maybe practicing Sweeney Todd numbers...you know, just in case I'm ever in a Karaoke bar and Johnny Depp just happens to be at the same Karaoke bar, because he heard me singing his most favoritist song from "Sweeney Todd" and just needed to know where the most beautiful sound he's ever heard was coming from and he wanders in and rushes the stage and we belt out the most heartfelt duet EVER at the end of which we totally make out and he asks me to star in Pirates of the Caribbean 14: I Did it All for the Booty with him...you know.
Gary: Of course. We must always be prepared.
Helena: I don't like the light. How do you think my skin is this creamy, perfect and pale? It's not NATURAL. I'm like...what are those things...yes, the Morlocks. You know...H.G. Wells and all that.
Me: Wow. You just very nimbly fit in that "Time Machine" reference. That was intense. And literary.
Helena: No, YOU fit in the reference.
Me: Wait. What?
Helena: Don't bother.