For your enjoyment:
I just had a patron come up to the RefDesk to announce that the computer would not let her access her email.
Would you like to know HOW she was trying to access her email? By typing her email address (i.e. firstname.lastname@example.org) into the internet explorer address bar.
I weep for the state of humanity.
So, this past weekend Lurrrver17 and I went to go see PrincessSean in a play. The play also happened to be directed by another [Theatre Company!] friend who shall henceforth be known as DaddyCap.
This play? All about Jeebus. In fact, PrincessSean played Jeebus. So, even though Lurrrver17 and I made an odd couple going to a Jeebus play...being a Jew and an Atheist and all that...but we really wanted to support our compatriots, so natch we just sucked it up and got ready to be blessed by PrincessSean.
So we get there, and SeeStephGo is running lights and sound. So, me, Lurrrver17, DaddyCap and SeeStephGo are all sitting up at the sound booth chatting and giggling madly as is our wont. Now I should be clear that they only one among us who is ACTUALLY not a full fledged for reals adult is Lurrrver17. And like, i't's WELL before the show. There's hardly anybody seated in the house yet, the lights are on, you know...nothings doing. And DaddyCap is the director...just reminding you. I mean, you need to know that else NOTHING THAT FOLLOWS WILL SEEM WONDROUS.
So we're laughing...I mean probably a wee bit loud, but we're not being unruly by any means. When suddenly this crusty old lady who's been handing out programs comes in, and while staring DIRECTLY at Lurrrver17 says:
CrustyUsher: Don't you think you're being inappropriate?
And now, granted, Lurrrver17 is like, 8 or 9 feet tall, so she may not have seen that the DaddyCap was standing next to him..
DaddyCap: Excuse me?
CrustyUsher: You are being totally inappropriate!
What's hilarious? Is that even though I'm totally an adult, and completely within my rights to turn to this lady and tell her to fuck off, it's like I'm 5 years old and getting scolded and I just hide in Lurrrver17's armpit. As PrincessSean says it must be my LibrarianSenses kicking in forcing me to just sit and take public abuse. BUT THEN! DaddyCap does this like epic level walk of extreme purpose around and gets all up in her face and is like:
DaddyCap: We were laughing. Before the show. Since when is laughing inappropriate?
CrustyUsher: (gesturing to the crowd of 8 who are seated) THEY, didn't come to hear you laugh!!
DaddyCap: It's well before the show. And all we were doing was laughing.
CrustyUsher: (with GREAT and PURE southern sarcasm) Well. I guess I just shouldn't have said a thing then.
DaddyCap: NO. You shouldn't.
And you guys? DaddyCap is like ENRAGED. Like LIVID. Like maybe a little bit scary. And he is NOT going to let it go right?
SeeStephGo: PUT ON YOUR HAPPY HAT!
DaddyCap: I am LIVID right now. I'm going to complain.
SeeStephGo: HAPPY HAT. It's time for the HAPPY HAT!
Me: What about my amazing ability to change the subject? I bought Christmas gifts today! YAY!
DaddyCap: She had NO right. THAT was totally uncalled for. I'm complaining.
SeeStephGo: HAPPY FREAKING HAT.
But, her pleas for the happy hat went unheard and DaddyCap marched right up to CrustyUsher and said:
DaddyCap: Excuse me. What's your name?
CrustyUsher: Gladys CrustyUsher.
DaddyCap: Well, I'm DaddyCap, DIRECTOR OF THE SHOW.
CrustyUsher: (dripping with sarcasm) Well, it's a PLEASURE to meet you.
And then DaddyCap totally ratted that bitch out to the head of the box office.
Like, I get that this is a Jeebus Play? But like, it's not a religiously affiliated theatre company and it's NOT church. I don't need to come up in here with like...reverence and shiz. Whateves. I hope that bitter, joy-sucking, old crusty face DIES ALONE.
Or. Just eats dinner alone. I mean, she doesn't have to DIE. Today.
Anyway, at the end of Jeebus Play, PrincessSean (as Jeebus) pulls something out of his pocket that appears to be A DOVE. And I? Get freaking SO EXCITED! Like OOOO! A dove! How BEAUTIFUL! Oh, I wonder if he's going to set it FREE at the end! And it will FLY over us! Maybe it will land on my hand! OOOO!
Of course, it was definitely NOT a dove, because like how would a fucking dove sit quietly without moving in PrincessJesusSean's pocket for like an HOUR?
It was just a touch light. Like that's it.
I don't even know how my eyes processed a palm-sized touch lamp as a dove...but whatever.
And then on SUNDAY? The Beave totally took me on a surprise magical mystery date? Guess where we went? To this AMAZING place? Where you design and devour your own hot, gooey, delicious cookie! Yeah! You pick your own dough (BROWNIE) then you pick a topping (CRUMBLED ANDIES MINTS) then they warm that shit up and you get a gooey, melty, little plate of something wonderful. And? The lady gave us FREE GELATO.
FREE FUCKING HOMEMADE GELATO!
Most perfect day EVER.