'Sup bitches! Happy New Year!
I'm at work today...on Sunday. AND? The person who was supposed to work at the RefDesk with me today, TOTALLY called in sick. So it's just me. Which, I'm kind of "hooray" about because this guy? Kind of a creep. As in, flipped his lid on me because I wanted to reschedule a program we were working on together. Like, yelling, snide, thirty minute "please calm the hell down" phone conversation flip your lid. So him calling in makes me look awesome and him look like an ass clown.
Dig your own grave SUCKA.
Also today? This really nice patron who I was helping with her resume and junk like...shared her dark chocolate covered ginger candies with me...and like I totally took them and ate them. Like, I just took candy from a stranger.
WHAT IF THERE WAS HEROINE IN THERE. Or like...A SYRINGE.
So, yesterday was the first rehearsal for [Newer Play!] and it was just a read-thru. Which basically means that the cast just sat around and read through the script for the first time.
And there's this part, like where my character is being introduced and PrincessSean's character says "Wonderful actress, but she drinks you understand." And Lurrrver17 all like NODS EMPHATICALLY like "hell yeah, TYPE CAST." You didn't think I saw it BUT I DID. And totally NOT because I watch you every second of every moment ever in the world or anything totally creepy and illegal like that.
Whatever, just 'cause you're all 17 and PERFECT and like all sober in the afternoon and DON'T pound back 40s when you drive minors without seat belts, and haven't yet needed to drown your sorrows in a cheap Cabernet doesn't mean you can judge.
Only I can sit back and judge the masses SIRRRRRR. From my lofty throne of Bloggington.
Hmmm, "drown your sorrows in a cheap Cabernet"....I think I'm going to write a haiku about that. Like right now.
Cabernet is cheap,
But tears are cheaper still.
Another glass? Sure.
ZOMG. That was AWESOME! Almost as awesome as this totally drunk dude who smells like The Peachtree Tavern at 8AM on a Sunday! See, there are these "sidesters" (as he put it) who don't want him to talk to his wife, see. And they've gone and changed ALL his email passwords.
STOP BREATHING ON ME. Like seriously, I almost threw up. That is how bad this dude smells.
Once again, I'm forced to question my choices.
Oh and also? You know how I said I'm going to try to go totally veggie now? Well, as a Farewell To Meat present, Husband totally made me this giant baked ham (which is my fav) on New Year's day. And like, you guys? This is an 8 pound ham. Like that was the smallest he could find. For two people.
The disgusting part? As of today? WE HAVE EATEN ALL OF IT.
SO FUCKING GROOOSSSS! I'm so disgusted with the Ham consumption? That my motivation for meatlessness has never been stronger.
So, Pigs all over da world, I ask your forgiveness.