Today? I am epic failure at life. First? There was no more linty tape on the lint brush. So I am covered in cat hair. Second, I forgot my lunch. THIRD. I just spilled scalding hot honey lemon water all over myself. And finally, there's no heat in the library again today. I mean, that last one isn't my fault...but still. But big fat sausage fingers are all shriveled up with the cold so they actually look like normal lady fingers.
No, like...the kind you eat. But what a Lady who had fingers...like what HER fingers would look like.
So, the other night at rehearsal was our first night off-book. Meaning, it was our first time rehearsing W/OUT our scripts. So natch there was a lot of stumbling over lines, frustration with one's self, etc. Also, PrincessSean was not there, so the director stood in for him.
So like Lurrrver17 is all doing his scene with Director standing in for PrincessSean, and like he's kinda stumbling over his lines, and getting moderately stressed, like ya do, when Director just goes "HAHA! And Lurrrver17's FLY is down! HAHAHA" in like that "let's all point and laugh kind of way" and Lurrrver17 just hauls off and says:
Lurrrver17: Actually, it's not, that's just as far up as it goes...but way to let everyone know you were staring at my crotch.
I died? Three times. It was bold. It was hilarious. It was "I take no shit, even if my jeans are jacked up." I pretty much loved it. Until he yelled at me for laughing.
Then I ripped my own throat out because its laughter had hurt Lurrrver17.
So, after I ripped my own throat out, I'm helping BootyLove (another delicious cast member) out of her corset.
No, I mean, yes it is TOTALLY sexy, but like it's part of her costume and she's all wearing it at rehearsal and shit to get used to the way her kidneys feel when they're pushed into the wrong part of her insides by steel boning.
So, there's this one stay that I just CANNOT get. Like it is STAYING. Like stays do, I suppose. And I'm tugging, tugging, tuggggginnnngggg.....when
The thing just like totally flies open causing me to PUNCH MYSELF in MY OWN EYE. Luckily? It was SO FUNNY and I always laugh when people hurt themselves, because the laughter helped me fight through the pain.
So, my supervisor smokes right. So she's always going out front on little mini-breaks to smoke...and because it's been so cold, she hasn't been staying out there to smoke a full cigarette. So she has like these half-smoked butts that she's been leaving outside.
They've been disappearing.
So NOW, we're convinced that the half-smoked cigarettes that Alcohol Joe has been leaving around are ACTUALLY my supervisor's discarded butts that he is TAKING OFF THE GROUND and saving for himself.
BARRRRRRRRRF!!!!!!! BLEEEEEHHHHHHH! HOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRFFFFF!