Code Monkey Like Interwebs.

So, I'm bringing up the computers at Ye Olde Librario this morning, and I find A FINGERNAIL in the keyboard.

GAG.

And last week? I found a fucking animal vertebrae in the stacks. I mean, animals were allowed to decompose behind those books.

It's just effed up people.

Next up? Human head.

Do you guys remember CharlieCommentCard? This is the guy who comes in all the time and asks for me...he kind of sounds like a muppet...and we're not allowed to give him anymore comment cards because all he writes on them is how much he loves me...yeah that guy.

So, I'm out in the lobby yesterday refilling the carrel of tax forms (Hooray master's degree) and he comes in...

CCC: JESSICA! Is that YOU!!!???

Me: Hi.

CCC: Your hair is different today. It's a different style.

Me: ...

CCC: You're also wearing different heels today. So i wanted to make sure it was you.

Me: ?

Um. Do any of you know how ridiculously CREEPY it is to have a complete stranger monitor how you do your hair and what shoes you wear? WELCOME TO MY LIFE.

:::PRESSES PANIC BUTTON::::

Also, I started rehearsal for yet another play...but it's back with [Theatre Company!] and the Shakespeare-ing and the outdoor theatre-ing and the what not. Lurrrver17 is not a part of this production because of PROM.

Whatever.

So, I am left to flounder aimlessly without him.

So, lead dude in this play, we'll just call him JimmyDean, is like...the oddest combination of traits and things. I don't even know how to describe it. Like, clearly, he likes the Willy Shakes...but...he's a frat boy, who drives a motorcycle, and smells vaguely of cigarettes. He also showed up to the first rehearsal with the most horrifying black eye I have ever seen...because he got hit in the face with a garage door. I'm still making my way around this dude...

Last night, we were blocking a scene which involves JimmyDean pitching the woo to me...basically trying really hard to seduce me.

Because I'm SO TOTALLY SEDUCABLE. Seduce-worthy? Is there any word that fits there?

Anyway.

So like...you know it's always awkward doing scenes that involve talking about The Zexy and the what not with people you've just met, I mean, I get it...but like...he keeps making the "rrrreow" sound at me.

Like, over and over and over again.

(and over)

And I mean...ok, so trying to assuage the awkward with...more awkward? I mean, I laughed politely at the first 37 "rrreows"...I'm not exactly sure how I reacted to the next 24. The killer though? After we've blocked the scene...

JimmyDean (to our FearlessLeader): So...is there going to be anything physical happening between the two of us?

FearlessLeader: Um.

Me: :::wide-eyed glare::::

FearlessLeader: Uhhh...no?

And FearlessLeader and I are all, WTF??

BUT! Turns out! That JimmyDean's girlfriend has to MEET anyone that he is going to touch/kiss/grope whatever in this play.

Yeah!

HAS TO MEET!

SCARY!

I mean, hooray for like her loving him SOOOOOOO MUCH...but WHOAH.

That being said, he is very sweet, and very earnest and will do a fine job...but here's me cheering for the no kissing. I don't need anymore ladies wanting to cut me. I'm sure at the library right now there's at LEAST 10 bitches who wanna piece of me.

Comments

[Pita]

i absolutely HATE that sound. every once in a while b-genius will make it to be funny and i can't laugh, that's how much i hate it - and you know how easy i laugh at noises.
also? what's this chica supposed to do if she doesn't like an ACTOR in a PLAY with her boyfriend ACTING aka PRETENDING to be his lurver. ok looney tunes, nice to know you don't trust your boyfriend even in pretend land. geesh.

[Vizzini]

HAHA, Oh Pita. I love you SO MUCH. Speaking of PretendLand? Me and you TOTALLY have a beachside villa at Cottlesloe where we are waited on by clones of Johnny Depp, George Jefferson, and Robert Pattinson, and Liev Schreiber is our gardener.

I love PretendLand.