So, I may have mentioned that we were having a clusterfuck of a time with our computers here at Ye Olde Public HellHole...mainly they were spontaneously not printing people's stuff. So, the solution? Making it 10,000 times more difficult for US.
See kid? That's how inefficiently managed county government works! So previously, patrons would send their print jobs to this mystical invisible print queue in the sky, and then using a user id they would retrieve and pay for their own print jobs at the print station. Well, when when they uploaded the new printer program software onto our really, really, REALLY old computers....this began to fail. EPICALLY. So what our BRILLIANT I.T. department did was make it so that every public computer prints directly to the RefDesk, and now yours truly gets to retrieve and sort out people's print jobs all day and haggle about dimes and nickels and this shit didn't print this shitty way and BLAH BLAH BLAH.
So like, yesterday?
Many papers begin coming out of the printer next to my computer on the RefDesk. We lift them up to sort them out.
Lots and lots and lots of PORN.
Printing.Out.Porn.AT THE PUBLIC LIBRARY.
And you guys? Like FOR SERIOUS PORN. Like farkin' japanimation chicks getting done dirty by like giant alien snake monsters whilst licking each other's faces or some crap, followed by a plethora of pics of NAKED CHICKS.
Why the HELL did I just have to be subjected to seeing that.
Naturally, I began to laugh hysterically. Because dude probably had NO IDEA that this was printing out to a public printer. HOWEVER.
Who the FUCK prints out mass quantities of porn at the gosh dern PUBLIC LIBRARY?! I suppose since it's printed out now, he doesn't have to like re-google naughty words.
We just threw that crap out.
THEN. Same day? Girl at computer? Just stands up and TAKES HER PANTS OFF. In the MIDDLE of the library. Granted, she had shorts on underneath...but like, there are bathrooms for you to use to REMOVE YOUR PANTS.
I guess I have to admit here, else I no doubt will get called out, that I did in fact change clothes in a Target parking lot.
And it was late, and like dark...and there were very few people there AND I hid behind a big car.
But wait! There's MORE!
Today? A computer monitor went on fire.
Yep. Smoke and fire.
That's the level of equipment we're dealing with here folks.
Gotta love it.
Currently, I'm helping a woman who looks and sounds EXACTLY like Anne Bancroft. I want her to adopt me.
Also, this past Tuesday? I attended Lurrrver17's band concert. And it was pretty much amazing. Yes, I know what you're thinking, if Lurrrver17 played the kazoo in a barnyard I would think it was amazing. And while that IS true, the concert seriously was fucking PHENOMENAL. So afterward, I'm just shootin' the shit with LurrrverDad, you know, like ya do....
LurrrverDad: You know, Lurrrver17 has had such great friends in band this year. Just really warm and sincere. He just attracts people like that.
Me: Well, that's because Lurrrver17's like that. He's so compassionate, and warm and friendly...he gives off a vibe of someone who could never be hurtful you know?
LurrrverDad: Yeah, that's a good way to put it. You know, he's always been like that. One time we were driving, and Lurrrver17 was about 4 or so, and we see like a chain gang picking up garbage on the interstate. And Lurrrver17 just starts crying! So I asked him what was wrong and he said "They don't have any sunscreen!"
Take that? And snuggle it all day long.