So it's Sunday. And I am at the library.
And you guys? FUCKING CRAZY ASS DAY.
Let me preface this by saying that my car (Deronte the Civic of Style) was broken into on my street earlier this week.
Like window smashed in, glass all kinds of everywhere, types of broken into. They did not however take anything of any REAL value, aside from CDs. They were however, selective in their CD theft. Which would be simply amusing if it didn't cost over 200 bobs to have my window replaced.
So today at work, we're skeletal staff because WHO IN GODS NAME SHOULD BE WORKING ON SUNDAY, so there's literally only two of us in the RefDepartment.
Both of us happen to be away from the RefDesk assisting patrons with whatever the hell useless shit thing they need help with on THIS day, when we see a little punk emerging from out back office.
Like all ducking and hiding and shit.
So my co-worker is all "ESSSCUUUUUZZZZE ME? What you be doin' back there son?"
And he's all "Uh...nothin'."
And she proceeds to lecture him about the staff only sign, etc.
It's at that point we notice that both of our purses have clearly been rifled through.
Luckily? Nothing has been stolen from my purse. But my wallet is left unzipped and open on the desk. My co-worker however is missing 13 bucks.
And she is pissed.
See, she doesn't normally work at our branch...it's her Sunday rotation only. Normally? She works in the straight up GANGSTA HOOD. Like NO LIE. So she is NOT about to take some shit.
She goes and freakin' GRABS the kid right. And just like rips him a new one...not before she sees him slip a wad of cash into a book he's carrying.
He? Naturally...mouths off saying that she can search him or whatever.
She? Just takes the book and boots him out of the office again.
Once he's gone, we open the book, and surprise, there's her money. At that point, I had to of course call the Police.
What's hilarious? The kid? Stayed in the library.
Was still here when the cops got here.
They arrested his little nasty butt, and he was mouthing off to them the whole time.
Now, because he's a minor and it was only 13 bucks, they simply had to turn him over to his mother...who screamed and yelled at the police officer for like 30 minutes.
Way to be a good mom.
But come one now. My car and my purse in the same week?
Universe? THIS IS NOT OK.
Then...this guy comes up to the RefDesk and is all:
Creeper: Do you know about...volunteer opportunities in Atlanta?
Me: Well, we don't really have a directory or anything like that...you could try starting with Hands on Atlanta...
Creeper: They're too bureaucratic.
Me: Um...well, Habitat for Humanity, or Goodwill...
Creeper: No, no. Too long of an application process. The Catholic Archdiocese still hasn't approved my application.
Me: Uhhh, animal shelters?
Creeper: They never need anyone. They put those animals to sleep after a few days anyway.
Creeper: Yeah. One moment, they're all playing, and frisky and filled with life. The next? Their tongues are hanging out.
Creeper: Like, I was playing with this one dog through a cage, and like I turned my back for one second, and like, looked back...and his TONGUE was all hanging out...and like the lady? She picked him up to see if he had a heartbeat? And then THREW HIM IN THE GARBAGE.
Me: DUDE. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. Do you even KNOW who you are dealing with here? You have fucking traumatized me for the rest of my goddamn natural LIFE. Get the FUCK away from me you freakshow.
Once again. Internal monologue.
What I actually said was:
Me: Yeah. Don't like to hear that.
Then I looked down and started typing in the hopes that he would GO THE HELL AWAY and creep on somebody else.
Well he want away. I'm just working on the assumption that he is creeping elsewhere.