First off, to share with you:
An excerpt from the most awesomest sauce of a Jonathan Coulton show that I attended.
You can totally hear me laughing in the beginning...just an FYI.
Next up? WHAT THE HELL WORLD.
Like, I know I keep just going on and on and ON about how busy the library is...but I really don't think you people understand.
Like this is a HIGH STRESS ENVIRONMENT.
There are fucking people EVERYWHERE. And babies that are crying and screaming and killing each other and eating live kittens.
I don't know dudes, crazy shit is happening up in here.
I mean, for serious? If you have a teenage daughter who is a little bit whore-ish? Or a womanizing son? Just please bring them in here for 20 minutes and the will want to roast babies on spits rather than have sex EVER AGAIN.
And the people who are in here? Are like pissed off. They are unemployed and they are just PISSED THE FUCK OFF at EVERYONE.
And our computers are slow as crap because they were actually built by the amish 15 years ago when they briefly shutdown their fireplace factory.
So these angry, unemployed folks are in here to job hunt and type resumes and print crap off and stuff.
Then they get on these computers that literally are like moving at a slower rate than logs would burn in said fake amish fireplaces...and they become enraged. They are about to murder some folks.
Today? We were so crowded, and so many computers were out of service that the wait for a public computer was 65 minutes. A lady came up to the RefDesk and literally stood there, demanding to be put on a computer immediately. Just kept going on and on about how ridiculous this was...as if I somehow had control over the amount of people using the library and the fact that they all seemed to need a computer with as much urgency as she did...then finally she just goes
"I JUST NEED TO PRINT MY DAMN RESUME DAMMIT."
What the hell you need to swear at me for? SWEARING DOES NOT MAKE ME WANT TO HELP YOU.
And I mean...damn? Yes, not really a swear. Considering that I regularly say SHIT at my desk...but still.
Also? However pissed you are right now? It does not miraculously create more computers, nor does it miraculously give you a job.
I AM SORRY that your life is FULL OF FAIL.
You? PUBLIC. Are however making me want to BURN THINGS.
You are sucking all my hope away.
Obama would like for you please to LET ME KEEP MY HOPE.
GOD. Thinking of how I used to spend my summers? Makes me want to WEEEEEP.
Like, basically? Summer consisted of me working 12-20 hours a week at Old Navy and/or The Gap, going to the beach at LEAST 3 times a week, hanging out at Pita's pool almost every single day, and Smirnoff Ice.
That was the LIFE man.
Except for the Smirnoff Ice. That shit is gross.